Sh*t Therapists Say!

I hope this makes you guys laugh! What have you heard in therapy? I’d love to hear! Don’t get me wrong.. I like some of their cheesy lines! LOL This is all in fun! 🙂 Those timers & co-pays, though… 😉

71 thoughts on “Sh*t Therapists Say!

  1. Hey Rachel I just posted about a bad experience at therapy this week. Click on my wordpress to read it ‘Therapists aren’t always the best’. Basically this guy didn’t trust I was an expert on my symptoms saying the people with mania only buy stuff they don’t need. That is not true a lot of people with mania buy ‘useful’ stuff and the bottom line if you are spending way more than you can afford that is mania and a serious issue.

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  2. Haha I loved your video that really brightened up my Thursday!
    Today at therapy I had my therapist say “maybe the reason you aren’t making progress is because you don’t want to feel better” …. sure because being constantly depressed and anxious is fun for me!!

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    1. Haha! After one of several suicide attempts, I had a doctor tell me that I liked being suicidal because it was easier than working on my therapy. I was stunned into silence. After the meeting I laughed at his offensive cluelessness. Maybe he was using some rare technique to make me laugh?!


      1. Lol of course, who doesn’t enjoy being suicidal right! Sometimes I wonder where they got their qualifications! I feel like saying maybe it’s not me, it’s just you aren’t a very good therapist

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      2. I did come to a realization this past session that I told my therapist that I’m addicted to my depression and that I admit that I don’t want to be better. Well, it’s a little complicated because part of me wants to but another part doesn’t. So despite not liking how I feel through being constantly depressed and anxious, I am also purposely (both consciously and unconsciously) resisting recovery. So in that way, I get what your therapist is saying… But, I also agree with you that it’s not a good feeling that no one wants to have in their lives.

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      3. I agree that recovery is complicated- I think even our bodies are addicted to the anxious and depressed chemicals because they are so used to them -it’s almost like a withdrawal when we try to be calm or let go of depressed thinking. It’s so foreign to us. I think even when you are better it’s great to have someone guide you and help you process things. I think a therapists should also have goals for their clients to get better though and sometimes be a little tough on their clients.. That’s the kind a prefer— but we all have diff needs.

        Id be gentle w yourself! There are probably lots of factors contributing and recovery isn’t all smooth and perfect, it’s lots of bumps along the way! It sounds like you are really strong for admitting what you think is happening and why and taking care of it. You rock! Thanks for the reflection.
        I actually like some of the things said in this video a lot- it’s just jokes and poking fun at how we hear a lot of the same things, but many things in the video have helped me! Lol

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      4. Thanks for your response. Yes, I agree with what you said. It’s hard to change. People don’t like change. Change is scary… And for people with mental illnesses, change can mean something completely new – I mean, I’ve been depressed for a very long time. I don’t remember a time when I was happy or alive. So when depression has been a part of me for so long and has defined me for so long, it’s scary to think about what will happen when it goes away. I told my therapist that I’m afraid that I’ll be boring! He laughed and said, “Well, in all my years of being a therapist, I’ve not turned anyone boring!”.

        Aww… Thanks. I think admitting that to myself was probably a huge step in overcoming the feeling that I don’t want to change. I think I’ve been lying to myself for too long and resisting my therapist since we began our sessions 6 months ago.

        Some of the stuff you said in the video does come across as mean though. My husband wasn’t watching the video but he heard some of the things and he was like, “What?! Therapists actually say things like that??? That’s awful! Sounds like they shouldn’t be therapists”. Haha… I told him that they were just in jest and that no real good therapist would say something like that. Though things like, “How are you feeling this week?” or “How does that make you feel?” is funny because I’ve heard it so much.

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      5. Ya! I’m glad you explained to your husband- some of them were more like sarcastic jokes! ☺️😍 I take it further than reality in the videos! 🙂 that being said, there are some scary therapists out there that do really inappropriate things and act like they want to be done as soon as possible! 😑
        In response to the boring thing- I try to focus on others things that define me and develop those gifts/talents/projects and that seems to help! Sending hugs and love! Xo

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      6. Heheheh Just like with any job there are bad therapists out there! Sometimes it’s like dating- you have to find one that fits! No ones perfect, but it’s ok to be like “I don’t think this person is doing well so I’m finding another!” Thanks for the comment! 😇😍

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      7. Heheheh Just like with any job there are bad therapists out there! Sometimes it’s like dating- you have to find one that fits! No ones perfect, but it’s ok to be like “I don’t think this person is doing well so I’m finding another!” Thanks for the comment! 😇😍

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  3. lmao! I once went to a therapist who was trying to guide me through relaxation techniques. While I was sitting in the chair he had this flem thing going on in his throat going on and I have a very weak stomach. So when he asked me, are you feeling relaxed yet I honestly said no (because I was trying not to puke). Then the clever dipshit says, ‘oh you have a guilt complex’. I love it when they are so smart that they do not even need the patient for anything lol.

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      1. If you have to spend 50 whole minutes at $2.00 to $4.00 per minute alone with a smart arse, might as well find someone that keeps his poking finger for himself, somene who does not throat-swirl loogies, or someone who listen actively and does not treat you like a disease.

        As a therapist I do my best to pay attention to my clients’ needs and I will text, and pick up the phone between sessions if some helpful ideas come to mind. Also, I welcome texting and calls when clients need to share some insight. Now I mus add that I am French and anything rude, crass, or irrelevant that comes out of my mouth is often mistaken for some charming oddity.

        In truth, I fuck shit up sometimes, but when I do I come back to my fuckery before the next session and try to clear things up with the client. The only thing I don’t clear is loogies down my throat. That’s gross. 😀

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  4. Haha this was hilarious! Definitely made my day! 😊

    This is the normal start of every therapy session for me:

    Therapist: How has it been since I last saw you?
    Me: Fine (or good)
    Therapist: What does fine (or good) mean?

    I hate that question haha. Today, I was trying to rationalize an ED thought, and my therapist looked at me like, “Is that thought helpful or…” I was like 😑😑

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    1. I mentioned I had told my psychiatrist/medication management doctor on two separate visits that I had been feeling really poorly emotionally. And her response was “Imagine how you would feel if you were not taking your medications”. The third time I went in, I told her that her response was ridiculous. And, please do not say that to me again. I know how I feel/am without my medications. Perhaps, she may want to consider changing my anti-depressant. I also told my counselor if she says it to me again, I will need to have her change my med management doctor.

      And, I have a good friend who is a psychologist and he and I were both talking about the importance of having a good therapist/counselor when you need one. And if you find one that is not a fit, keep trying. There are good counselors out there.

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  5. Great stuff. I hate most doctors. When they talk to you in depth, take notes and then rehash what you have said in the past and keep being repetitive is somewhat annoying as well. 🙂

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  6. Thanks for making me laugh!! If I hear my therapist say to me, “How did saying that make you feel?” one more time…….. LOL! I do love my therapist though so I think that it’s even more hilarious that way.

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  7. I have tons….

    how about…

    “No your anxiety is fine…you look really good”

    um ok sort of inappropriate…

    “You really need to stop that”
    more of that here

    and how about…”Sometimes I forget you are Bipolar because you just seem so together.”

    um thanks I think…what should I look like?…(btw I was totes manic at the time HA)

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  8. Hi Rachel! This was so funny! Especially “my passion is only helping rich people 😂” sounds like our government, eh? Lol btw I wanted to let you know, I just got my first publishing contract! You really inspired me alot, not to be so fearful and to take some risks.. So I finally stopped hesitating and actually sent the book out. Finally a little bit of success.. I feel super excited lol thanks 4 everything! Stay awesome! 😊 🌸🌼🌹

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  9. I feel like religion tries to take the place of the therapist sometimes by giving bad advice like just “pray harder” “have more faith” “depression that’s a sin!” You feel bad enough as it is, who needs someone guilting you over something you can’t control. Just my experience lol

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    1. Definitely! Religion and prayer are powerful but they do NOT take the place of medical care for mental health or any other disease. It’s quite judgmental, hurtful, and ignorant to tell someone to pray harder to get over a mental health diagnosis. Opposite of Christian values if you ask me! 😉 Muah!

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      1. I actually think when proper medical care and prayer or faith go hand in hand, they can work together and really help someone. I’ve definitely seen a few miracles. Definitely shame is not a Christian principle. But love and kindness are and that is what we should show people who are struggling 🙂

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  10. Ugh! this gave me mixed feelings. On the one hand it brought back yuck memories from my 1st therapist, nasty as hell! kicking me out after 15 or 20 mins. She kept no records what so ever but again why should she? she didn’t do anything! I was going through an extremely tense time so she would look at me cry, listen to updates about my situation and offer zero advice on how to cope. She was literally a waste of time and money.
    On the other hand, it makes me feel grateful for my current therapist, always listening carefully, gives useful advice, and I agree with most of what he says.
    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! That’s a scary example of what’s out there! So sorry you were treated like that! Ugh so glad you have someone great now! Yay! We have to advocate for ourselves and for good care, because no one else does 😖😕😐thanks so much for sharing your story! ☺️😍😅😂

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  11. Hey Rach I just nominated you for ‘The Paris Holt Blogger Award’ its posted on my wordpress. You don’t have to answer the questions or nominate anyone. The award stands for a lot and you are one who is deserving of it for your kindness and great work on your blogs and everything you do. Hope you have been well!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly! We are paying them big bucks so why is it like pulling teeth to get a professional opinion out of them? We have friends who will give us opinions, but those will be naturally biased. Hope you like the challenge, sweetie, I thought it was fun! 😀

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