I used to believe my inner dialog, but believing all my wacky thoughts made me feel like a super cray-cray mess! I also thought my thoughts were who I am. 😁😝
I tried to only think positive thoughts like the self help books were saying to do, but negative thoughts kept involuntarily coming in. Rawr! They were relentless and when I resisted them they just grew bigger and scarier! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr!
My thought: “I’m am calm and happy..” 😊
Another thought: “No, you’re not! You feel like crap!” 😁
I realized I can’t control my thoughts (who can? Don’t picture a pink elephant! See, I bet you just did!) but I can control if I BELIEVE my thoughts or not. If I don’t believe and attach to the negative thoughts, they don’t make me feel like a super sad, lost kitten. 😿
Say I meet a new person and they aren’t very warm, my thoughts might say, “She doesn’t like you.” 😕 If I believe that, it makes me feel bad about myself. Then later I say to someone who knows the new person,”I feel like she didn’t like me,” and they say, “Oh, she loved you- she is just sad because her and her boyfriend broke up this morning.” See how our thoughts just make up their own ideas and stories about what they think is true? Believing the stressful thoughts just makes us miserable. Can you think of a time where you had a stressful thought that your mind was sure was true and then it was super off? Our thoughts aren’t always helpful 🙍🏼
Our thoughts go off like a reflex, just like how our eyes blink on their own. 👀 I’ve read that we have over 60,000 thoughts per day! Some of them are happy, some are weird, some are crazy, some are true, some are light, some are dark, and some are way off- so we don’t have to believe or attach to all of them! I hardly believe anything I think anymore! Lol I also don’t think I am my thoughts. (Warning: super hippy girl about to come out) I have found a place inside me that is not affected by the thoughts, which I call my spirit. I remind myself that my spirit is so powerful and strong that no thought can affect it.
I found a method that has really helped me with stressful thoughts that I’d love to share with you. It’s call “The Work” by Byron Katie. I’ll summarize and post a few things from her website here, but I recommend getting her book, “Loving What Is?” If you can’t afford it (trust me, I get that) you can use free resources on her website or YouTube her and see “The Work” in action. I’m not affiliated with it and don’t get anything for sharing it (except happiness that it might help you) so don’t worry about that- just sharing an awesome tool with my peops that really changed my life! 💜🙋🏼
When you have a stressful thought – even if you really think is true, you ask these questions about the thought:
Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
Then you turn the thought around to the opposite and find three reasons why the opposite thought could be true.
From her site:
A statement can be turned around to the self, to the other, and to the opposite (and sometimes to “my thinking,” when that feels appropriate).
This is the site where you can learn more about the method:
I’d love to hear what you have found is helpful when you have negative, stressful thoughts! What works for you? Love you bunches! 💖💖💖